Part 1 – Who am I? But not totally.
Chapter 6: Freedom of Succession
At what point can we justify to ourselves that it is okay to move on – quit something if you will? Whether marriage, employment, friendships, volunteer work, or just about anything else.
The joke at a party usually heard is ‘nobody likes a quitter’, when they ask you if you’d like a fag. “Oh no, I’ve since quit.” Of course, no longer coughing actual lung bits into the loo is a good thing.
Not waking up in random places unclothed is rather desirable when one decides to quit drinking. At least a two-four, as they call it in Canada, over a game of cards. Your liver loves a quitter.
Our bodies also appreciate a giver upper. Like that moment we show it a little love and axe the breakfast of champions in exchange of fruit and a glass of O.J. rather than a chocolate bar, a bag of nacho chips and an extra large double double.
Your heart fancies a quitter I’ll bet, that moment one exchanges lounging in a lazy boy for months on end watching romantic comedies while slurping from a Big Gulp full of cola after a hard breakup, for a walk to the park with a friend even to oogle dreamily at some passerby who might suit your fancy.
See? Quitting is grand.
I guess as maturity has set in, at least I think it has aside from writing in an English accent or dancing in the mini-van like an idjit with my girls, I have come to realize that the only time quitting is a bad thing for us is when we do it because of poor planning, or our own disbelief in ourselves whether in our abilities or our worth.
I have little regret really. I am of the belief that things in life happen for a reason and in the end I have had a great life so far, but there are decisions I have made that have somewhat haunted me a bit and remain reminders should I find myself in similar situations.
I was once accepted to one of the best schools in the world for studying animation. I had to work at it for a year in a course that helps you build up your portfolio, but I was focused and made that long time dream of studying that magical artform a reality. However not long into my studies, I let poor planning and disbelief in myself get the better of me. That and the thought of moving 2500 miles away from my family has served as a recurring theme in my life of fearing the unknown.
I visited a friend in California who had graduated from the same program that very year, who landed a job with Dreamworks – indeed a tale all of its own, smashing my rental car to bits and all. I spent 9 mostly memorable days in California exploring much by myself, realizing now far too late that I would have loved that working adventure so very much. I would have met many new people as I always do and hey, I enjoy my alone time anyway. What a time it would have been because being there, helped me paint that unknown picture.
Quitting a job is simple. That from someone 19 years into his current employment role. You find another job and quit the other one. As long as you are set for finances and have done your best to judge the longevity of that role, it’s all you can do. What makes quitting hard is not having confidence in yourself to move on. Not seeing your worth and some companies have a way of assisting you with that lack of value in self. Like suddenly needing a college diploma for a role you have done for most of your adult years. I am not sure what college teaches you about clicking a mouse but it does have me quite curious.
The lack of a certificate or diploma can really play on you. That is something I would like to alter.
I want to do more with my professional life but how those decisions affect my family must be top of mind. My elected position has certainly helped guide me down the path of a possible next chapter.
There are many other things I need to quit. I need to quit the van with the VHS player because well, it’s played its dues and it has a VHS player. I need to quit this house and start new memories with my extended family but that’s been a hard move to make. I love my neighborhood and my first home and money is yet to be growing on the stately trees on our old street.
Most of all, I must quit getting stepped on and be more assertive. There is being a nice bloke and then there is being walked all over by a gaggle of running mustaches.
I have worried about what others thought of me all of my life too so there is that. I think I have put that to bed with my Tops and Trends teddy bear and Mickey Mouse clock though. It’s nice to finally be in this place.
Bugger off then. There is enough judgement in my own noggin’ never mind nonsense from you.
I am trying really hard to listen for my souls succession but it isn’t easy. This summer was to be about reflection for me so I will let these remaining weeks play out, and listen closely to the many voices crowding my cranium.
Is that a running mustache?